One time when my cousin and I were talking
He suddenly asked me if I’ve ever experienced witnessing a solar eclipse
I just smiled
Thought of you
Then said, “Somewhat.”
He asked why I said “Somewhat”
I explained to him that a solar eclipse lasts for seven minutes
Seven minutes just like my love for you.
On the first minute
My heart was beating so fast with joy
On the first chance that I got to see you
I thought before that only blue or green or brown are the only beautiful eye colors
But with each time I get to stare into your onyx-like eyes
Which contained all the secrets of the universe
I realized that I was wrong
I realized that I could also fall in love with black eyes
I just had to meet you.
I also implanted in my memories the moments I got to spend with you
I also gave more thanks for the moments when I was able to talk about you with a smile on my face
I even thanked the universe and God because they allowed me
They gave me a chance to meet you
To experience having you in my life
To have seven minutes to be happy with you.
On the second minute
When I looked at you once again
I suddenly remembered what my friend told me
As a warning if the time ever came that I get to witness a solar eclipse
“Be careful and don’t stare for too long.
You might be enamored by its beauty,
Get blinded, and fall.”
I suddenly remembered that because he was right
I stared at you too much
I glanced at you too much, not realizing that I was already falling for you.
On the third minute
Just like any person witnessing a solar eclipse
I was suddenly visited by the words “I wish”
I wish I did so many things differently
I wish I didn’t rush everything I needed to do
I wish I didn’t allow myself to be defeated by my emotions
I wish I immediately told you that I loved you
Because yes, I loved you before
And until now, I still love you
But I got scared
Scared that I wouldn’t be good enough for you
But I wish
I wish I said and did all the things that my heart was telling me
And didn’t let fear or doubt reign over my heart.
On the fourth minute
Yes, I admit that there were many “I wishes” that crossed my mind
But just like someone who is glancing at a solar eclipse
I was content when it came to you
I was content that I get to look at you
I was content that I get to see you smile
I was content in knowing that you were happy
I was content for the simple reason that you were on my mind anyways.
Yes, you’re on my mind
In the morning, you’re on my mind
Have you had your morning coffee already?
Have you had your favorite food yet?
At lunch, you’re still on my mind
I know that you’re busy but please eat lunch and not just drink coffee
Because I don’t want you feeling weak
At night, you’re even more on my mind
Are you going straight home
Or are you gonna go out with friends or eat dinner
Or maybe, if you’re free
Can we see each other
I’m sorry if you’re getting annoyed by my repeated invitations
But I wanna see you
I wanna see you because sometimes
I’m not content anymore that you’re just on my mind.
On the fifth minute
I was slapped by the truth that
That it already hurts
That you’re already hurting me
Because I keep giving you so much love
That you never bothered to notice.
I thought that I was okay
Because I thought I was used to it
But it hurts even until now
Why is it that the things we consider beautiful
Are the ones that will hurt us so much?
The fragrant rose with many colors
Will hurt you when you poke yourself with its thorns
The beautiful view at the peak of a mountain
Will make you suffer until you can’t endure it anymore
And will make you give up
The goals and dreams that we like to immerse ourselves in
Will drown you in loneliness when they don’t come true
A person who will knock on the door of your life
And before you even open the door, they will let themselves in
And when they enter, they will suddenly grab your hands
Pulling you closer to them
Until the moment comes when you’re staring into their eyes
And you won’t realize that you’re already falling for them
Only for them to let you feel that they’re only just a dream.
I knew that I was gonna fall for you
And I tried everything I could so that I wouldn’t get hurt
I tried to control my emotions
I tried to not desire too much
I tried not to have too much hope
I tried everything to stop myself from getting hurt
But I couldn’t stop myself from loving you.
The sixth minute
Is when the moment came when I realized that
It was almost over
The seven minutes I’d be with you was almost over
The moments that were so happy that I couldn’t get out of my mind were almost over
And the words “I wish” arrived once again
I wish that I’d be given more chance and time to be with you
Even if it were just for one year
Even just one month
Even if it were just a day
Yes, I’ve accepted that maybe we’re not meant for forever
But I’d be happy if I could just have one day of you
I wish and dream to be your sometimes.
The seventh minute
Is when the moment of farewell came
It still hurts so much to say “Goodbye”
But if the time ever comes that you need me
Because even if I don’t know what will happen in the future
And even if the world separates the two of us
I will search for you
I will look for you
And I will return to you over and over
Just to experience once again those seven minutes with you.
Next blog will be out soon.Desai Thoughts MEdia.
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